I recently got a forward with some supposedly “insightful” questions. Some of them are just plain dumb, but some are interesting or at least amusing. I’m going to pass my righteous judgment on the whole list.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Good question. Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough? Dumb question. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Amusing. Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle? Dumb question. Someone needs to study a little more chemistry. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Dumb question. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Good point. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Dumb question. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Dumb question. Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”? Dumb question. Words are rarely consciously/logically invented. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Dumb question. Someone clearly has a weak grasp of the theory of evolution. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Good question. There is an answer. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Boring question. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Barely amusing. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Amusing. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? Slightly amusing. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? Sorta good question. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That hurt, you stupid idiot?” Dumb question. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? Dumb question. You’re a klutz. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? Dumb question. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? Dumb question. Men are just way less meddling. Verdict: 60% of those 20 questions were not worth asking.